28 Aug 2007

Stream of unconsciousness...oh and cart horses!

If you are looking for this weeks FBT weigh-in results - scroll down or look at this.

I have just noticed that my previously prolific levels of 'postage' (creating posts not licking stamps you understand - by the way, why DID it take over 160 years to come up with a self-adhesive postage stamp - they've put men on the Moon for pity sake....!), has dissipated somewhat in recent times. I have been mostly thinking about why this has happened.

1. I have the attention span of a gnat that is really preoccupied about something very VERY important that keeps gnawing away at him even when he's not really thinking about it.

2. If I don't get results, I get fed up and change tack very quickly - not big on hobbies, me...

3. This blog has turned into a digital millstone in some ways. I really like to read other peoples blogs and comment about what they are talking about but the act of commenting starts a reciprocal relationship.........

Sh*t, I have just bored myself TO DEATH with number 3!

Alright, I admit it, the real reason is that I'm lazy and want to wake up tomorrow weighing 195 pounds and find myself as fit as a butchers dog (not a Gypo's dog, that's something else entirely..) and I KNOW that this is not going to happen.

My eating habits have gone completely to pot since last Wednesday when a Curry and lager was applied to my internal waste management system. Since then there has been wine, BBQ, chocolate, more wine - SUN DRIED TOMATOES (can't someone do some utterly rubbish EU funded research to find that they are carcinogenic and BAN them??), er more wine..etc etc etc.

I went to the dreaded CHAMBER OF GYM 3 times last week and pretty much managed to do everything the evil Frances wanted me to do - except for the unusual cruelty that is the 2nd helping on the Elliptical (I'll swing for the bloke that invented that bloody machine - almost certainly FRENCH if I'm not mistaken!) but the notion that I am going to have to do this FOR EVER is gut wrenchingly dismal is so many ways as I can barely mention...

By the way, the devil that is Frances surpassed herself this time with her thoughtless blunderbuss of perkiness - whilst I am torturing myself on the treadmill on Saturday she bounces up to me and chirps ' How's it going then?' - 'Er OK', I grunt, 'Getting there I suppose...'

She then tells me that it will all be worth it when I go for a riding holiday and 'they don't offer you a cart horse!' - OH NICE ONE - YOU ARE PROPER HILARIOUS! Hey, I'm not exactly sensitive, but really, it that meant to be motivational? Bloody hell!

Anyway, I'm sorry to ramble on like a geriatric old clown who's lost not only his marbles but also his exploding car and bucket of confetti, but I really need to find a way to get going and do what needs to be done! I NEED HELP!

The sad fact is that I wasn't built for hard work - I like to imagine that I'm some poncy pondering thinker of great thoughts and I should be in a log cabin somewhere putting down on paper my unique philosophical creed for the benefit of all mankind but actually I am a professional 'avoider' (both of effort and occasionally responsibility) and this is the biggest single barrier to dealing with my weight loss.

Christmas seemed miles away when I started this journey and now it is looming in the distance like a tip of a very big iceberg.... 40 pounds to go keeps taunting me like the cool kid at school throwing old Biro's at me and calling my lardy!

RIGHT THEN - this weeks resolutions....

Blog more often (and actually mention your weight once in a while, this is meant to be weight loss blog after all...doh!), go to the gym at least 3 times a week, stop eating like it 'doesn't really matter cause you go to the gym now' ( honestly, how spectacularly, heart-stoppingly stupid is that? I should be put down for that alone...!!) stop effing WHINING all the time (you want to be a Buddhist when you grow up, so GROW UP!), visit more blogs and don't mention WAL-MART again (they obviously don't like that...)... well, that's a start then!

Get the kettle on people, I'll be around for a cup of tea tonight and I want to know ALL about it!


Tigerlilly said...

Looks like we were both in a rut this week, eh?

I have to say that with the thought of Christmas and the 'NEW' year just around the corner, it does motivate me a little more to get my ass (or asses, depending on which view you have! LOL) moving.

Dont the Budhists have their own way of 'diet'?? All natural I suppose? Vegetarian? Maybe following this will help you?

I feel very competitive today...going from first place to 4th? Ha.. I'll show them!!