13 Sept 2007

The Chewing Gum proverb and other cathartic meanderings...

Life can sometimes be very much like used (not-second hand..) chewing gum.

When you stick your gum to the bed post of an evening, though it may still be there in the morning, regardless of the question of flavour, it will almost certainly have hardened somewhat!

What do you mean; you don’t stick your chewing gum to your bed post, doesn't everybody?? Next thing, you’ll be telling me you get out of the bath to have a wee!

Anyway, like the chewing gum, some things in life get harder the longer you leave them. This Blog is one of those things.

Like most things I do, I start with huge and unbounded (sometimes almost evangelical) zeal and make great fantastical (mental) plans of what I intend to achieve in the future. I am not so ashamed of this as a 'fantastic' methodology of life, as there are doubtlessly many worse things I could be doing. The longer I leave it between posts though, the harder I find it to ‘get back on the horse’.

At times like these (there have been too many) I so often feel, like now, that I have let myself and others down – I feel depressed, deflated and also oh so slightly embarrassed when the ‘cold light of day’ of reality shows my great ideas and grandiose plans to be heroically out of reach. So often they have stalled through either a debilitating lack of self-belief or an equally chronic loss of primary focus. I am also embarrassed, to be frank, at my rather pathetic inability to confront problems and my penchant for looking the other way and pretending nothing is going on. I am also acutely worried about how people view me (though I regularly deny this) – not entirely though vanity but rather I have extremely high expectations for myself, and when I fail to reach these dizzy heights my black dog arrives snarling away like before!

I am sure if I was losing 2-3 pounds a week still I would be posting daily and rambling about all sorts of rubbish. The question for me is that am I unhappy because I am not losing weight or am I not losing weight because I am unhappy. This conundrum is a recurring one and I think I have answered my question many times before.

I MUST be happy to lose weight – and happiness comes from positive thought… so start thinking positive!

As a consequence of this unspecific ‘black dog’ episode, I have clearly neglected the development of the weight loss challenge, and more importantly to me I have neglected the regular contributors to the Blog including all those of you who kindly entered the challenge.

You all deserve better, and I apologise to you all.

I sadly have no real excuse for this, no obscure references to ‘personal problems that I don’t want to discuss’, no mental demons that torture me at night.

I just stuck the chewing gum on the post one night and now I find myself here….

I now realise that I created this Blog only in part to assist my weight loss journey. To a greater or lesser extent I also created this Blog for purely selfless reasons of aggrandisement. I wanted to show the world how clever I am and have the thoughts of Chairman FatBloke published in little red books across the globe. I only slightly exaggerate for comic effect – I know now that I need to reign in my expectations for this project and pick myself up and get on with it.

The primary focus for this Blog should be and WILL BE to encourage myself and others to live longer through better health and spiritual well being.

Whilst writing this post, I am reminded of some truly inspirational words. So many times, the word ‘inspirational’ is extravagantly attached to words, images or sounds that patently are no such thing but this, I hope you will agree, is the ‘real deal’.

"It is not the critic who counts: not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error or shortcoming, but who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself for a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat."

Theodore Roosevelt

We as human beings are more complex and diverse as possible anything else in the known universe and we all deal with things differently. Tempting though it is to dream of being a simple ‘dumb’ animal, our friends in the animal kingdom are born without the awesome gift of cognitive thought. Cognitive thought is a twin-edged sword though…as I clearly think too much on occasion!

I have set off down a road to enlightenment using a combination of mental and physical challenges. Changes in the way I relate to food & exercise my body along with changes in my cognitive thought process, will hopefully combine to be a new way of living my life.

This fairly major bump in the road appears to be the first un-navigable obstacle in the journey – an obstacle maybe in my own mind, but an obstacle nevertheless. I believe that it stems from my long held belief that I have consistently under achieved in my life.

It should be understood that I do not mean under-achievement in the most conventional sense. I have a very highly paid job, I have a warm and loving family; I live an extremely comfortable and secure life. If Maslow were to use his pyramid to determine my position I’m a long way off the ground! But am I truly happy? Define happy for a start...!

I feel I have under-achieved in a spiritual and human sense. To judge me in the modern currency of material things, I am as rich as Solomon compared to literally billions of others in the world. But spiritually and emotionally, I feel not exactly bankrupt, but certainly short a bob or two! The older I get, the more things are becoming clear to me. I have spent too long concentrating on the what instead of the why.

Anyway, as Teddy so eloquently put it above, it’s time for me to get back in the arena…

As a reminder of just how lucky I really am, this is a photograph I took outside our house a couple of weeks ago. I need to look at these more often...

I hope everyone is well and thank you if you have commented recently and my apologies for my lack of reply - I will try to do MUCH better in the future.

And on that note, I leave you with this question…

‘If tin whistles are made of tin, what do they make fog horns out of?’


AndyC said...

You've got a view like that outside your front door and you're unhappy! Get a life.... I'd kill to look outside my house and not see another building... Down sarf there'd be two housing developments, a school and a shopping centre in a space like that, faster than you can say "pie worrier".

I know how you feel though. This week I had a choice between being bad and losing weight. I've been bad. And frankly, I don't give a flying f**k at a rolling doughnut. I've not lost on the scales, but I still had to put another hole in my belt to stop my trousers falling down. I'm fitter and healthier than I've been in five years, and I've drunk more this evening that I should on a school night.

But I'm happy. I've done an honest and productive days work. I've helped a bunch of people along the way. And my wife will be home soon and I can enjoy her company.

Losing weight isn't everything. I said for years that I'd rather be happy than thin, and right now I'm too happy to want to be thinner.

I *love* that photo. I really do. You lucky, lucky bar-steward!

Jojo said...


start watching the videos.
It's time to stop being unhappy.

This doe snot replace any religious belief. It's a way to get through every day.

The 21 precepts here teach us to be happy. 21 things to do for yourself. They cost nothing, but following them will help you see that view out your door a lot different~!
Hugs Nigel....

Chris H said...

Awesome view mate~!
Don't despair over dissapointing your faithful readers, just do what you want... I will still be popping in the see how you are!

fatboyfat said...

Blimey. If I had that view outside my front door, I wouldn't be blogging too much either. Like I said before, don't swet it. We're still here.

And as a PS to your final question, "If olive oil is made from olives, what do they make baby oil from?"

Jenny said...

It's a journey, with many bumps and turns, and in the end it's ultimately just you and you alone who knows what you truly want.

So you stumbled, it's OK. If you want to get back up and continue... "we" are here with an open hand.

I hope you do.

karoline in the morning said...

awww...bloke...yer a silly bloke at that...at which point did you forget that you are only human? {{{hugs}}}

its not that you fell, kind sir, its that you got up again and kept going...'that' is what makes you a fabulous human being.

life is about challenges, about rolling with the punches...and your idea to become spiritually and physically healthy again was and still is an incredible idea..

sometimes we can't see the forest for the trees..but yes..you are still on the right track my friend..you are doing wonderfully..

like that exceptionally beautiful photo you shared with us, your words and wit, your tenacity endear you to us....

and besides..i'm thrilled you are only human...because we all know how futile it would be to emulate a god in our mere mortality...




Cynthia Rose said...

wow that is an awesome view!

You and I have a similar reason for blogging - I just want to help others put their health first and not focus so much on the scale and encourage people to never give up. As well as to keep myself going too, even when their are plateaus and brick walls to overcome.

And I can so relate to the big plans and theemotional roller coaster.

I'm learning life ebbs and flows, and slowly I'm learning to swim -- it's a journey, I'm learning to be gentle with myself even when I mess up.

My latest BIG plans - I am going to be taking a qi healing certification class next year - combining the spirt with physical healing feels very "right" to me and I've wanted to do something like this for a long time - I am taking the plunge the next time the certification classes are offered.

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He is really just a high maintenance puppy, neither my boyfriend or I have the time to spend with him as needed. he really is a beautiful little boy. We both love him very much, and I really hate to get rid of him, but we are staying at a 2 bedroom house with one of our best friends and his mother, which means our room really isn't a bedroom at all. We have very limited space and Duckie likes to run, play and chew. He chews mainly on the bed which is NOT cheap! He has shredded 2 $200 comforters and we haven't got the money to replace them, so we had to Gorilla tape the bitches. He is also really stressing out my boyfriend, which in return stresses me out...see more in..Sugar Free Gum

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Anonymous said...

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Anonymous said...

Do what ever you want to do. Don't be so scared that you might make mistake or failed, because mistake and failure will give you more ideas and make you a stronger person. When ever you stumble, get up and go on.Always look forward and think positive.
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Anonymous said...

Chewing gum will just rotten your teeth...if your fat to be ashamed, just eat good meal in breakfast and lunch and light meals with green vegetable at evening. Give up softdrinks and other junk food. Before you know it your loosing weight. Uh..before i forget drink water before you eat. Srikar, Beach Vacations

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Well, it will not help too, if you feel bad because you're a little overweight. The good thing do is, even it is so slow and hard is, change you eating habit and do some 30 minutes walk every morning or every weekends or if you can job a little bit. One you wake up in the morning, stretch your hand above your head and do bending side by side and forward and backward. Resorts 360

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I just struck onto your blog and read the post. Don’t feel negative about your life instead you should develop a positive attitude towards life. There are many people in this world who are concerned about weight loss and trying every possible measure to reduce their weight. You are not alone and don’t give up. Don’t worry and be happy.

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Anonymous said...

Chewing gum is not healthy for us. But sometimes we need this to reduce our stress. If you like chewing gum you must think to give up this habit of eating chewing gum or you will suffer with your teeth.soap nuts

Phonics said...

Positive thinking is very much helpful when loosing weight as it keeps your confidence level up. Although weight loss is a nice thing to achieve it will take time and some patience.


Nashville Limo Service said...

If you're trying to lose weight that is good, even if you're not losing weight should always think possible that maybe tomorrow I will. Just keep on trying, just keep thinking positive.

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Loosing weight is more emotional than practical. When things doesn’t work out at time it feels very bad about ourselves but we should keep our confidence level high and the willingness to achieve success sooner or later. So the moral is never give up and never let yourself down. Try and try until you get success.

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