14 Oct 2007

The glass is still half empty...

I haven't posted for a while, I've not had much to say. I also turned off my comments (sorry Celeste!), I just needed some space.

I am not usually a half empty glass sort of bloke. I'm English, we don't really do public emotion (though you should have seen me last night when England beat France to get in the Rugby World Cup...cripes! Not a dry seat in the house! That may have been the London Pride talking though,...) - this blog turned into something far more emotional than I ever envisaged and this meant I delved much deeper inside myself than I ever intended to go - when you delve, you can't control what you find, it you could they'd be not much point delving now would there?. That is not necessarily a bad thing, just a thing. OK, cards on the table, I am acutely embarrassed by my emotional outpourings - there you go, I said (wrote?) it!

Some, not many, but some people know me in the 'real world' and know I blog as FBT - this is a problem, as soon as you have lunch with someone who knows you spilled your 'dharmic guts' the night before, it makes it very difficult to keep on spilling. Does this make sense?

I think I just need a gap and then I'll be able to start again. I am on holiday this week (but at home) so I intend to do a bit of redesign of the look of the blog and do a bit of a re-launch to get the ball rolling again.

So finally, Celeste (any anyone else who feels the need to get in touch) please comment whenever you like as I have turned the comments back on. But if you expect me to understand or involve myself in FACEBOOK, you may have to long wait as I don't think 'social networking' is for me...yet!

Anyway, off for a night at a hotel with the wife (child free time!!!) - a chance to relax and think (as if I don't do enough of that already!).. Pictures to follow!

See you soon.

2 Oct 2007

Still looking inside...

I received an e-mail this morning - it was from Facebook, saying that Steve Vaught wanted to be my friend.. ahhh that's nice!

I know what a face is (I have one after all) and I have a whole host of books, so clearly I am familiar with their appearance. Facebook, however remains a significant mystery to me - what is it and what is it for??

Anyway, I am now officially a friend of Steve and that's a good thing. He's a nice bloke who did a very brave thing when he embarked on a journey across America. If I had half his courage I would be a happier man than I am today. Reading between the lines, he has established the same connection as me between weight and spirituality. I think - maybe not, thats for him to say I guess.

Due to the 'spiders-web' nature of the internet - the way that moving from link to link transports you to places you never dreamed of visiting - I got to read some truly inspiration words today thanks to Steve.

If you have a little 'too much junk in your trunk' - read it here.

Oh, and Karoline, you're right in your Dharmic assertions....the negative stuff will be removed forthwith! Only positive thoughts - self depreciating humour not withstanding - will grace this blog!

Anyway, how am I doing?

I have not weighed myself (other than visual 'man-boob check' every morning - a very accurate indicator of weight fluctuation in my experience..) for way too long. My eating habits are not great but have been worse - I am clinging on so far....

More soon...

Live in Joy

Live in Joy, In love,
Even among those who hate.
Live in joy, In health,
Even among the afflicted.
Live in joy, In peace,
Even among the troubled.
Look within. Be still.
Free from fear and attachment,
Know the sweet joy of living in the way.

There is no fire like greed,
No crime like hatred,
No sorrow like separation,
No sickness like hunger of heart,
And no joy like the joy of freedom.
Health, contentment and trust
Are your greatest possessions,
And freedom your greatest joy.
Look within. Be still. Free from fear and attachment,
Know the sweet joy of living in the way.