14 Oct 2007

The glass is still half empty...

I haven't posted for a while, I've not had much to say. I also turned off my comments (sorry Celeste!), I just needed some space.

I am not usually a half empty glass sort of bloke. I'm English, we don't really do public emotion (though you should have seen me last night when England beat France to get in the Rugby World Cup...cripes! Not a dry seat in the house! That may have been the London Pride talking though,...) - this blog turned into something far more emotional than I ever envisaged and this meant I delved much deeper inside myself than I ever intended to go - when you delve, you can't control what you find, it you could they'd be not much point delving now would there?. That is not necessarily a bad thing, just a thing. OK, cards on the table, I am acutely embarrassed by my emotional outpourings - there you go, I said (wrote?) it!

Some, not many, but some people know me in the 'real world' and know I blog as FBT - this is a problem, as soon as you have lunch with someone who knows you spilled your 'dharmic guts' the night before, it makes it very difficult to keep on spilling. Does this make sense?

I think I just need a gap and then I'll be able to start again. I am on holiday this week (but at home) so I intend to do a bit of redesign of the look of the blog and do a bit of a re-launch to get the ball rolling again.

So finally, Celeste (any anyone else who feels the need to get in touch) please comment whenever you like as I have turned the comments back on. But if you expect me to understand or involve myself in FACEBOOK, you may have to long wait as I don't think 'social networking' is for me...yet!

Anyway, off for a night at a hotel with the wife (child free time!!!) - a chance to relax and think (as if I don't do enough of that already!).. Pictures to follow!

See you soon.


Celeste said...

I understand. I have several blogs simply because there are things I want to say but I don't want some people to know about. I only allow a select few to knew that I am the writer of that particular blog. I expose far more of myself in it ioncluding some looking back at my past that until then I kept to myself. I have been finding that it helps me just to write it, to explore myself so to speak. I will share the link with you if you like.
It is hard when your off line friends read some things. Hell it is hard when your online friends read some things...
Enjoy your child free night!

karoline in the morning said...


be true to yourself.... or you will be eaten up...missing your humour..


Laura N said...

It's all good. Hope you are getting refreshed by your holiday.

Gosh, I'd never write on my blog if people in my real world knew about it. I haven't given out the address to anyone. Even though there's nothing really I'm hiding, I'd just be much less open than I am if I knew people I see in the flesh were reading it.

Take care of you!

Jenny said...

Just wanted to say "hi" Bloke.

Anonymous said...

I think that's where having a blog can help someone out. Sure, there is a lot going on in your head that you don't feel the need to share but the little "spur of the moment" things that are getting to you are more than natural, even for an Englishman.

I'm sorry to hear you're going through such a rough bump in the road though. I hope you're able to work through it and come out on top.

Hope you enjoyed the night with your wife, relaxation is always a great thing.

Anonymous said...