2 Jun 2008

“Daddy, why have you got a fat belly?”

Well, no sooner than the medical profession view me as a threat to the planet as a whole and indeed everyone on it, my biggest fan has started to ask some seriously probing questions about my physique…

My son is 4 years old and clearly does not yet know that "directness" is not always the best policy (lying is OK for adults, right? Especially to yourself, right?) Anyway, it’s my own fault for trying to bring him up to be an open and loving child – WHAT was I thinking??? Why can’t he lie to me like I lie to myself every time I pick a bottle of white wine from the cooler at the supermarket? Kids today – bah!

Anyway, I answered this devastatingly direct question with an equally devastatingly direct answer.

“My belly is fat because I eat too much and don’t exercise enough.” (Can you hear the thud?)

Simple, to the point, and possibly the single most depressingly direct thing that I have ever said in my life. What’s worse, it is the TRUTH! More importantly than that though is that if I know it, why in the name of jumping Jehosaphat do I not DO something about it?!

In answer to this, he looked at me and said thoughtfully “I only eat little chocolates so I don’t get a fat belly, don’t I dad?” – Oh please! – lay in on a bit thicker, why don’t you son?

At this point, I feel like I am trapped in a very bad 1950’s health film flickering and jumping around on the cinema screen between Flash Gordon (Just kill Ming when you get the chance – what is so difficult for God’s sake???) and some Laurel and Hardy. Another fine mess indeed…

I think I have kept up this denial long enough don’t you?

That same day I watched the latest series (season if you like) of the US Biggest Loser show – I lie to myself that I watch it for motivation but in reality (no pun intended) I mostly watch it to try to kid myself that I am not really fat – these people are proper fat, that’s spelt F A T, not like me, I’m just a ‘bit big’ – but as my wife groans and goes ‘uh yuck!’ every time one of them takes their shirt off for the initial weigh-in, I sigh inwardly knowing that I look just the same if not worse – she says that I don’t but I know I do – this is really not negative thought… just reality. I am genuinely not repulsed by my appearance at all (why should I be?), but my wife clearly hides her disgust, and that makes me feel bad – really bad. She really shouldn't need to do that.


We’ll leave ‘body-image’ for another day (BIG SUBJECT), but If I needed motivation, I got it, not from where I thought it would come but from an innocent question from an innocent little boy – and like love, sometimes you just have to get motivation from wherever you find it. As Mr Micheale jagger once said...'You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you just might find, you get what you need!' - Amen to that brothers and Sisters!

TIME TO REDEDICATE

This morning I am 246.4lbs. I will NEVER weigh more than THIS EVER AGAIN!

I will be 215 lbs by the end of this year. WATCH ME BECOME OVERWEIGHT (now that's an ambition...!)


I will post at least every Monday morning from now until I get to 215lbs!