4 Jan 2012

Déjà vu...

This is NOT a New Year resolution – REALLY!!

Firstly, let me be clear. I do not ‘do’ New Year resolutions – I hold the opinion that if you are going to do something, then just go ahead and do it! Do you feel differently today than you did last week – better equipped to achieve your goals – somehow more motivated? I don’t think so…. IT’S JUST A DAY!

Adding the pressure of a glossy Sunday Newspaper supplement induced ‘fitness guiltfest’ – lots of pictures of achingly glamorous and toothy fitness freaks jogging up a beach  in the bright sunshine – will not help you to achieve your goals either - FACT.

Having said all that… here we go again (groan..). Let the Groundhog Day begin.

Since my last post so little has happened that I don’t really know where to begin but I’ll give it a go….

My weight is a bit like some of Wall Streets finest investment opportunities – it goes down as well as up! At the moment I am quite happily bucking the planet-wide economic trend as my weight appears to be rising in adverse correlation to the worlds stock markets! Long gone are the heady days of dreaming of 220lbs but hopefully my own personal Wall Street crash is just around the corner…

The last time you heard from me I was 239.8Lbs – today I am a whopping 272.6lbs. Yes, that’s correct – almost exactly back where I started in June 2010... great!

The only possible redeeming feature to this tail of woe is that I now know that I can lose 40Lbs plus in 6 months – I know this for a fact because I have done it! Weight loss is no longer a mystery to me - Shaggy and Scooby can stand down for now. Mystery solved.

So what went wrong then?

When it comes to pressure (both internal and external), I realise that I am a sponge. I soak it up and soak it up with no visible effects (that I am aware of) on my character. I manage the stress levels I encounter from this pressure by self medicating with alcohol and comfort food.

Being overweight is both mentally and physically stressful – however, it is entirely self inflicted and I neither seek nor expect sympathy from anyone. I have the knowledge to understand how I got into this situation and I have the tools to dig myself out. It is time to start digging.

The mental stress from being overweight is probably the more pernicious of the two – it is the very hub of the wheel of self doubt, self pity and comfort consumption that leads to excessive weight gain.

The trigger for this initial pressure can be any significant event in your life – in my case it was overwork towards the end of 2010. The ‘drip-drip’ pressure of my job reached a tsunami in late 2010 / early 2011 – this pushed me so far that I could not sustain the positive mental outlook to continue my weight loss.

I am happy to say that for a number of reasons, I no longer have to endure the stress levels that I experienced this time last year. My head is in a much better place and I really have no reason whatsoever to avoid just getting on with it!

Dear reader, should you be interested, I will be following this highly complex plan:-

         Get the food right!

I will loosely be following the zone diet. It seems to work from me.

         Get the mind right!

The struggle to follow the ways of Buddhism continues…

         Move my fat ar*e!

I have no excuse whatsoever as I have a gym at work and a wife that likes to get the boxing gloves out – ouch! Just get on with it….

 The real key to breaking the destructive wheel of self doubt, self pity and gluttony is in the mind – of that I am sure. I understand what needs to be done – as I knew instinctively when I started this blog, the right mind will ensure the weight comes off. Happiness is not a large glass of red and a family size bag of crisps… it comes from increased mindfulness, respect for myself  and compassion for others. Working on that....

As a permanent reminder to me of the huge task in hand, I look at this many times a day to remind me how far I have to go…

The tattoo is an important symbol of the road I am heading down. The mantra is hard to explain so more of that another day...

I began this blog with a very pompous notion that I had an important narrative to offer all fellow pie-worriers. I have been humbled by the rocky road that I have travelled. - words are cheap and actions are dear indeed. 

I am back on the road though and I will record my thoughts here from time to time for my own enjoyment more than anything – please feel free to comment if you have something interesting/relevant to say but please respect the no advert policy – just saying ‘Cool Blog’ and adding your link to some probably illegal gadget/potion is really quite rude. If you come in peace then you are very welcome to come and sit on my lawn but please respect it as it’s mine not yours. 

Finally, I am not here to buy or sell – there are more than enough people doing that. I am here to find happiness and lose a little weight a long the way.

“Happiness is not something ready made. 
It comes from your own actions.” 
Dalai Lama XIV


Doug88888 said...


I stumble across your blog today.

Can't believe you've put back so much of the weight you lost although I expect it was a lot of fine.

Huge good luck in your quest for weight loss. I will be following you through your next battle.

I'm keeping my own weight loss blog with a similar mission - feel free to check it out if you like

My weight loss blog